he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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