i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
