Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My ass is underappreciated
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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