I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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