OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
