ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
These tits shall not be calmed
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
