every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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