this just has baby written all over it
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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