Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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