For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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