Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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