I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I have aggressive nipples.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
