fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
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