is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
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