normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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