evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
