i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize