The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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