Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
