But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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