I wannas sexs uuuuu
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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