nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
