yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
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His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
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