the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize