yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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