maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
