So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
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Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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