She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
