and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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