Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
