sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
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I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
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You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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