we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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