Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
