...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Randomize
