OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
