Non-Jews are for practice
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Fuck appropriateness.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
