i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
