That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
