Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
