i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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