You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
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he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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