I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize