is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
