apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm always down for nudity.
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