Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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