Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
