They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
