only if we run a train.
done.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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