She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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