if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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