Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
