I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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