its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
