the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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