just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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