i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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