You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
