Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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