so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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