sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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