If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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