So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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