You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
