I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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