they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
