i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
